20 years ago today – for Yarden

yarden image 2018

I should be haemorrhaging blood

Through my ears,

Screaming in agonizing pain,

Howling in sadness;

But 20 years have passed

Since I wrapped you last

in that soft striped yellow sheet

and they took you away.

 

Pain subsides over time.

Not at first, but

Gradually, like surf after a storm,

After a tsunami, a typhoon, a hurricane

Katrina

At first it’s ruins and disaster

Misery

The world an altered reality.

 

Eventually, waves no longer crash

With fury, but damage remains

The basement still flooded

The mildew creeping up the walls

And not wanting to do anything

At all

To fix it.

 

Years pass. Decades. I still weep

hard, at other people’s funerals

I still ache in the depths,

In my heart.

My body feels an emptiness

It can’t replace.

But

 

There is life

Out here, in my world

Laughter and nonsense

And many other gifts you granted me,

When I became your mom.

There is sea and sun

 

Friendships,

Inner wisdom,

Tranquility, perspective.

I share my daily being:

You inside of me

And me inside the world.

 

Audrey Gran Weinberg

For my son, Yarden Weinberg 1994-1998

I is for Irritated (A – Z challenge)

Dealing with Poor Customer Service

This is taken from the email that I just sent to Fietsenwinkel.nl

Dear Sir/Madam,

For the record:

  1. irritation
    art by:  Irritated Audrey

    Last week, Monday – June 4th – around 11:00 am, I called Fietsenwinkel by phone and explainedmy problem: My electric part of the bike – the part that switches speeds – was not working properly. It turns on, and allows me to ride only in ‘eco’ gear. I would like to change electric speeds, of course, so I wanted this fixed.I was told it would take 48 hours to get a response from the bike store or from Fietsenwinkel.

  2. On Wednesday afternoon, when I had not yet heard from your company, I called again, and was told that you are handing my request and it’s very busy this time of year.At this time (and by email), I indicated that my email had changed and is now: aXXXX@ziggo.nl

  3. On Friday afternoon, 8 June, I called again and this time was told that an email had been sent to me (to the wrong/ previous email address) and that I should contact Parnassus bike store.

  4. I contacted the bike store and spoke to a nice young man who said that I could bring in my bike “when I wanted, either Saturday, Sunday or Monday.” Because it was my birthday on Sunday, I was thinking of bringing it in on Monday, but we didn’t make a specific appointment, which the guy said was fine. He told me to come in at my convenience.

  5. On Sunday (my birthday – June 10th), I was contacted by a very angry sounding man from Parnassus bikes, who asked why I missed my appointment on Saturday. I explained to him that we hadn’t made a specific appointment and he replied that ‘this was not how things worked in his shop’. Afterwards, when I tried to make an appointment – he said I could not come on Monday, but rather on Tuesday or Wednesday. (But I work those days, as a teacher, so I asked if it was possible to bring in the bike on Monday after all), and he said that I was very inflexible and that if it’s ‘only Monday then on Monday the 18th.’ By this time, I was feeling a little bit chastened, like I was a bad child…’

  6. Then — in this same conversation – i mentioned to him that it was a problem with the electric part of the bike, because he mentioned ‘versnelling (gears)’ – but i said – it’s NOT the versnelling – it’s the electricity part of the bike, where you change gears/speeds from Eco mode to Turbo, Sport, etc. (as I wrote in my email to Fietsenwinkel).
    This caused the man at Parnassus to get even more angry at me – that I didn’t know the difference between a ‘versnelling (gear)’ and ‘ondersteuning (support).’ Now, It’s true that my Masters in Business Admin did not give me this knowledge – and so I don’t think it’s fair that I need to know the exact terms for what is going wrong with my bike, is it? However, because I apparently got the name of the problem wrong, he said I cannot bring in my bike until he contacts Fietsenwinkel and a new appointment is made ‘for the right thing – for the ondersteuning’.

  7. Today I received an email from Fietsenwinkel asking my I missed my appointment at Parnassus bikes -and can I call them to make an appointment….!!!

Continue reading “I is for Irritated (A – Z challenge)”

H is for Happiness – 3 things that can lead you there! (A – Z challenge still hangin’ in there!)

This week I returned from an yoga retreat that filled me with inner warmth and vibrated my chakras with joy.

You know how it is: life is full of work, children, partners, social obligations, to-do lists, chores, and then something bad happens to really set you back?

What if you turned that around? What if you allowed yourself, just once in a while, just enough to recharge your batteries for a long time to come, something completely different; something for you?

Continue reading “H is for Happiness – 3 things that can lead you there! (A – Z challenge still hangin’ in there!)”

G is for – I was a soldier in Gaza (A to Z challenge still going strong.)

netta pic instagram.jpg

It isn’t easy being an Israeli. One minute you are winning the Eurovision song festival, and the next minute you are fighting off Palestinians at the Gaza fence. I try so hard to avoid politics, but at times, you just can’t sit on the fence – especially the fence near Gaza – so here goes my take on Gaza, Jerusalem and the right to a peaceful existence.

Why did I study in Jerusalem?

Today I was asked, “Why did you actually go to study in Jerusalem?” Well, yes, I did study at the Hebrew University on Mt. Scopus, in Jerusalem, and I lived peacefully in the student dorms together with Arab students where we shared cake recipes but not much else.

My boyfriend at the time was arrested after throwing a yogurt at Meir Kahane, an extreme right wing politician, when he came to talk at our campus. I made friends with a Palestinian who lived in East Jerusalem, when he used to come to visit my sister’s flat mate. I made friends with people from all over Israel, who had all come to study in Jerusalem, for a variety of reasons.

Continue reading “G is for – I was a soldier in Gaza (A to Z challenge still going strong.)”

F is for Facing Fears and Fabulous Students (A-Z challenge continues!)

Short sorry…

So, I took a few days break from blogging and felt rather guilty about it, but as guilt is my middle name, I have taken some deep breaths and ‘dealt with it’ since the May vacation is over and work awaits, and there’s only so much procrastination one can do and get away with it. So, work has done in the past couple of days and I left my writing on the shelf. Actually, to be 100% honest, I did write something (else) for the letter F – in handwriting, in the notebook next to my bed –  a piece of fiction! An excerpt from my upcoming book (yes, the one that’s still in the works), but instead, as it’s already a quarter past midnight and work awaits tomorrow yet again, I decided on a shorter blog for tonight.

amsib pic

When the penny drops

Today at school – where I coach students – I encountered a wonderful example of how self development workshops and communication skills can come together and become a thing of beauty. And I say this, because often, when teaching these topics, to 1st year students, it seems as if they really aren’t interested and that they know best, and ‘please don’t try to change or improve me.’

Student Companies in Action!

Continue reading “F is for Facing Fears and Fabulous Students (A-Z challenge continues!)”

E is for Education – A – Z challenge accepted!

education planning
working from home…

So, here I am, on a Saturday afternoon, towards the end of my May vacation, with Magic Charts stuck up on my kitchen windows and sitting behind my laptop, working on the planning for next year.

Education is such a broad term. I studied to become a teacher many years ago, at the Hebrew University, in Jerusalem (close to where Giro d’Italia 2018 started off yesterday!), and here I am, over 30 years later, having worked in both business (doing marketing) and counseling (helping people) and now I find myself planning the new course for Personal Development for next year.

I love to teach, at least now I do.

When I started, back in the day, as a 24 year old teacher trying to work with pupils mid-adolescence, I swore I’d never, but never ever teach again! Those brats just ran circles around me. I figured: why work so hard, for so little money and suffer so much? Continue reading “E is for Education – A – Z challenge accepted!”

D is for Disaster in Paradise – (A – Z challenge)

house rules

Spa Zuiver – Paradise or Dictatorship?

In a way, I don’t want to ruin the really fun time we had with our friends yesterday, at ‘bathing suit day’ at the Spa. But it all started with the email they got in Dutch. In fact, when I asked them about the email, my friend told me, “It was actually more like 6 emails, but I used Google translate, and it looked like a nice place, so, we still booked it.”

By the way, do you see the picture above? House rules? This page is empty! Check it out for yourself, if you don’t believe me!

Well, here’s a list of things that went wrong on our visit to the Spa, with our friends who stayed at the hotel there and booked a spa day with massages for us all.

  1. No food after 9 pm.

    The night they arrived, at 20:30 (8 pm), tired and hungry, from a long flight, they asked about the restaurants in the hotel. “Yes,” they were told, “There are two. One in the Spa, where you have to go in your robes, without your bathing suit, and one next to the reception.” So, they hurried upstairs, changed out of their clothes and came downstairs half an hour later, only to hear –

    “Oh, the kitchen is closed from 9 pm.”

    Luckily, they had rented a car, so they went to the de Veranda, nearby, where the kitchen was happy to feed them big juicy steaks.

  2. No food before 12 noon – or Breakfast is served in one place only.

    Next morning, we joined our friends at 9:15, as they had booked the massages at 10 a.m. But they hadn’t had their breakfast yet. Again, they asked at the reception, can we eat breakfast at the restaurant in the spa? Yes, was the response. We hurried into the spa, up the stairs to the changing rooms, deposited our stuff in the lockers, down the stairs to the spa, where the restaurant is, and went in. It was cold and empty.

    “Oh, you’re guests at the hotel?” asked the man who greeted us. “Then your breakfast is up in the hotel, next to the reception. We only open up at noon.”

  3. Massages cannot be moved.

    As it was 9:42 by this time, (don’t forget, our massages were booked for 10:00), we stopped by the Beauty section on our run up to the hotel. My friend asked if she could move the massages to a later hour. “No,” was the reply. Eventually, they were able to move one of the massages to 10:30, after much persuasion. Thank you! By the way, I had a massage from a very nice guy, who did a superb job and we also had a really interesting talk about life and living in the Netherlands. (See, I do know how to give credit where credit is due!)

  4. Once in the Spa, you can’t get out.

    To get to the restaurant area, next to the reception, (remember, we had only a few minutes to eat!), we had to leave the spa area. But our automatic black bands that record our food purchases etc, and open most doors, did not open that door. There was a really long line at the reception, and you know the RULE: First person in line gets served first, no matter what. We waited impatiently for a couple of seconds, then had to rudely ask them to please open the gate, so we could get our breakfast.

  5. Towels are obligatory – also on bathing suit day – except where they aren’t.

    Some of the saunas are wet, the steambath, the hamam, etc. In those, you don’t need a towel, naturally, as that would get soaked. And we went from one sauna to the next, some wet, some not, wearing our bathing suits. However, we were relaxing in one of the dryer saunas when an employee, fully dressed, equipped with walkie talkie, came in and told us loudly, “You MUST use a towel here, in ALL of the saunas.” Feeling like very naughty kids, we ran off to get our towels.

  6. Phones are absolutely not allowed.

    Now, you saw the rules webpage, just as I did. It’s empty. But there is a long list – in beautiful Dutch, that I happened to see as we left, with at least 12 rules on it. And apparently, and this does make sense, use of mobile phones is not allowed. So, we were sitting outside, having a coffee, in the sunshine, near the pool, when my friend, who is a businessman, took his phone out of his pocket, holding it under the table and very discreetly sent a quick message to his business partner who needed an urgent answer. He didn’t make a phone call. He didn’t have his phone on the table. No one but the “big brother” waiter saw him. The waiter zoomed in and hunching over him, said, in a scolding schoolteacher tone, “Phones are absolutely not allowed here. I have to ask you to take it right now to your locker.”

  7. Lost is not found.

    I’m sure you know how it is when you lose something you love or need in a hotel. It’s so frustrating, and so easy to do. You have to pack up quickly, (Yes, they also weren’t told when making the booking for the spa that they would have to pack up their stuff first and store it before going in the spa…). Anyway, they managed to forget something in the room as they rushed up at 11:00 to pack up their stuff just after their massage. And when I called the hotel for them, today, to ask if it had been found by housekeeping – nope. No apology. It’s just not there.

  8.  Customer is not king.

    By the way, my friends are not kids. He’s a 56 year old man who runs several businesses and is a world champion sailor as well, traveling with his wife, who is also partner in their hospitality business.  A respected person, a person who travels all over the world, and who, if he had liked his experience at Spa Zuiver, might have come here again.

How to make it better?

One of my jobs is teaching business students how to give good customer service. I teach them these three simple rules:

  1. Customer is king.
    But, they often say, what if he’s wrong? Yes, but what if he is wrong, I answer. Don’t you still want him to return? Have you heard of lifetime equity?
  2. An apology is worth gold.
    But I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just ‘our policy’ or ‘we ran out of that particular item,’ they tell me. Yes, well, you can still be sorry about it. That will go a LONG way towards trying to make the customer feel valued. And if they are valued, they will probably forgive your mistake.
  3. Make it up to them. Offer compensation.
    In addition to an apology, a little package of the Rituals items used at the spa or even ‘Here let me give you these bottles of free water for your trip’ would have been nice, after all the many things that went wrong. After all, they did leave a few hundred Euro at this Hotel and Spa. They should be considered valued customers.